That is how I ended last year. Fed up and frustrated with a side order of unfulfilled. And between us, I’m a little bit annoyed with myself that halfway into the year I’m still feeling like that.
I was determined that 2022 would be the year that it all changed for me. I set my intentions for the year and although originally these were focused on income targets, I then realised that what I really wanted was experiences. I wanted to look back at the year and say ‘wow, that was an amazing year full of so many amazing experiences.’
Yet here we are, three weeks from the end of the first half of the year and although I have had some experiences, most happened to me, not because of me. So far, I’ve been evacuated from a large fire, climbed a small mountain, found ancestors thousands of miles away, driven in the US, nearly trod on a snake (if you know me `you will know why that was an experience!), attended a protest march, gone to two social events where I knew hardly anyone, and chopped 5 inches off my hair.
But none of these were experiences I set out to have or do, they happened organically or through the planning and desires of others. Well apart from the hair – that was really to get rid of the frizz and my hairdresser recommended it!!
I have realised that this is a pattern for me – I set goals and aim for things I should want, or that I see other people aiming for, or things that other people suggest or organise for me. I never really think about what I truly want, and to find that out I had to dig deep into who I am and what makes me unique!
That’s taken a lot of digging, and a bit like my garden, there was a lot of unwanted rubble in there which needed to be cleared away before I could create a fertile and nurturing environment in which to plant my dreams. And I’m getting there step by step and day by day!
So, who am I and what makes me unique?
I could blether on here about being a mother, grandmother, daughter, dog-mum, businesswoman, director, teacher etc. but none of those is who I am, they are roles I have in life and certainly don’t reflect who I am or what makes me unique. And it’s not something you can google either!!
I am a free spirit, happiest when in nature and sunshine, barefoot and barefaced. I am intuitive and sensitive, wise yet naïve, I am a writer and a poet, a dreamer and a doer, a teacher and a learner. And that is just for starters. Ultimately, I am a work in progress and enjoying the journey!
What makes me unique though? While a lot of the above could apply to many of us, it is the combination of who I am and the experiences I’ve had that have created a strong intuition combined with the wisdom of decades and shaped the multifaceted person I am finally allowing myself to be.
Now I am starting to get to know who I am, at least to some extent, I am crafting my intentions for the second half of this year, which is to create experiences that are out of my comfort zone and will create that ‘wow’ factor on December 31st. And my major realisation is that I want and need these experiences to fit with and reflect who I am, and my uniqueness and to guide me towards what I want to achieve in my life. There is no point in dreaming up random stuff for the sake of it as unless it is truly about me and my dreams, it just won’t happen.
So, watch this space for more on my travels, transformations, and possibly trials!
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