Most of us don’t seek change. We like to follow the same patterns every day or week, shop in the same stores, wear the same clothes, see the same people and eat the same foods. It’s safe that way, change is scary, comfort zones are, well … comfortable. Be honest, even the loose change you accumulate during the week and that weighs down your purse or wallet is annoying. So the big changes that life throws at us or that we want to make can be shocking, distressing and hard to face and send us back under the duvet of comfort.
Take me, circumstances in my recent past have led to some major changes – and some ‘settling’ – most (actually, all) of which I resented and which I was dwelling on. Then I suddenly realised that this negativity was holding me back in many ways. As long as I felt resentful and angry about where I had ended up, I would never be able to accept it, use it and move forward. Those negative feelings were suffocating potential growth like concrete on a recently seeded flower bed. So what did I do? I did what I tell my clients to do; I toughened up, gave myself a good talking to and followed my own advice. It worked too, (but next time I won’t do it in a very busy aisle at the local supermarket. I’m now the ‘avocado ranting’ lady. Oops. Could be worse, I could have been buying tripe!).
Anyway, now I have realised that although the changes I have made are not what I would have actively sought, I still chose to make them. It was my decision, my choice and what happens next is in my hands. I’m now in a positive place with a clear goal in mind. I’m not ready to share that with you yet, but I will soon. So, what works for me? I’m glad you asked as it may just help you too.
First of all I made a list of all the positive things in my life. I wrote down everything I could think of including my family, a roof over my head, nice wrists, good health, an inquiring mind and enough (too many?) possessions etc. That list is on my kitchen wall with space for me to add things as I think of them. Then I made a list of all the things in my life that I can’t (or don’t want to) change – age, the world, wrinkly knees, etc. I then screwed that list up and threw it away as if I can’t change it I don’t need to fret about it.
My next action was to get a very large piece of paper and write about my dreams and visions; what I want to achieve, how and where I see myself in a year, ten years, 20 years. This was quite abstract – a collection of random thoughts, words, pictures and quotes, a sort of scribbled vision board. This is also up on my kitchen wall so I can see it every day and add to it when something pops into my mind. (Note to all – any vision board or gratitude list should be somewhere you will see it several times a day so your subconscious mind starts to process it into a clearer vision. Don’t hide it on your phone or somewhere you won’t see it a lot).
Looking at my vision page, three things immediately jumped out at me; 1) the thing that takes up most of my day isn’t even on it – which means it isn’t part of my future. 2) most of what I have written is linked in some way, so there is a pretty clear path ahead. 3) nothing I have listed is out of reach – it just needs planning, decluttering (mental and material) and a bit of a leap of faith.
So here goes…